White House Super Bowl Party To Now Include New Orleans Style Ball
Washington—Having already declared New Orleans Saints the winner of this year’s Super Bowl, Barack Obama is going all out and including a New Orleans style ball—now being called the Super Ball—is expected to take place after the game. Of course, the ball is formal, and Obama is sparing no expense to wine and dine the bipartisan participants.
Obama is personally flying in over 600 chefs—all at taxpayer expense—to cater the Super Bowl party and Super Ball. “We’ll have every dish imaginable,” claimed Obama. “This is going to be a party to end all parties. We’ll have the finest cuisines and booze available today. Ted Kennedy will be jealous.”
Michelle is in charge of the illustrious affair, noting that “even though the party is a grand event, they are cutting back on spending.” “It’s important for the American people to know,” added Michelle Obama. “That we’re not spending a dime of our own money on this party. We’re leading the way when it comes to fiscal responsibility. America should be proud of us.”
The party isn’t just for Democrats. Obama is reaching out to show that he is truly bipartisan, insuring everyone that he would invite three white token Republicans to the event. “Just to prove that I’m as bipartisan as they come, I’ve invited Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Mark Levin,” remarked Obama. “Even if they don’t attend, I’ve made an effort to reach out to these truly distasteful people. For those three to refuse would be an insult, considering that everyone loves to attend my balls. Americans know I have the biggest balls in the country.”
The Super Bowl party and ball is expected to go into the wee hours of the morning. Some of the events planned are “float the keg,” “drunken water volleyball,” “quarters,” and “the fastest time to shotgun a beer.”
Michelle is a bit worried, commenting that her husband tends to become a drunken lush at parties. “I hope he doesn’t drink too much,” worried Michelle. “When my baby’s daddy gets too drunk, he likes to run around the room without his pants on. And believe me…that’s no pretty site for people to see. See you at the party!”
Iran’s Nuclear Explosion “Power Plant Gone Awry” by Lazamataz
crAP (Tel Aviv) – A nuclear blast that registered 450 kilotons was a “peaceful nuclear plant accident, no, not a nuclear weapon test, no, no, no!” stated Hamhead Al’bie Liy’ing Al Daii, Irans’ nuclear program spokesman.
The explosion could be seen from forward base camp Alpha in Iraq by United States Forces, which is located on the Iranian border in Iraq. “A shockwave rolled over the camp,” stated Major Ishuwiththis. “Precautions were immediately taken to reduce exposure to fallout. We’re about three-quarters pissed-off over here.”
Iran has claimed it’s nuclear program is peaceful, stating that “All we want to do is provide our citizens light in the form of burning and glowing Israeli Jews. Think of it. How beautiful.”
The UN Security Council has taken measures to plan a meeting to initiate a bill to contact member nations to form a committee to draw up a resolution to issue a warning to form another committee to brainstorm a plan to start a dialogue to create a tribunal to issue a press release about starting talks with the Iranian government. The UN has stated recently “We regret our failure to mill about with our arms in the air shrieking like 11 year old girls, about this critical topic.”
Spokesmen for the Iranian Ahmgonna Blow’u Tobitz Nuclear Plant stated that a worker left a copy of the Koran on a Big Red Detonation Button that caused the explosion. Although a missile was seen leaving a launch pad by satellites just prior to the airburst, the spokesman denied it was a weapons test, speculating that the missile could have been “a very large, cylindrical, metal bird with rocket thrust coming out it’s butt”.
Terrorists Should Worry About Barack Obama Codename: Darkshadow
Codename: Darkshadow
If you worry about terrorism, worry no more, because after years in hiding, Barack Obama’s true identity has been revealed. His identity is actually codename: Darkshadow—a deep cover operative that strikes fear in the hearts of terrorists everywhere. Obama’s cover was so deep it proves that only Harvard University could produce such a product.
For years, Americans thought that Obama was just a community organizer for A.C.O.R.N., but they were mistaken. Instead, the community organizer role was a mere cover for his darker, more sinister job as Agent Darkshadow, a man so smart that his brain is a fine tuned machine that doesn’t even register in a Wonderlic test.
Appearing to be a Marxist radical, Agent Darkshadow was solely responsible for bringing down the Berlin Wall. This feat was attributed to President Ronald Reagan, but even Reagan couldn’t talk about this deadly assassin, Darkshadow. Now that it is Reagan’s birthday, it is only fitting and proper to release this information to the American people. For they must know that Obama has given his all in defense of liberty.
He is a legend in the intelligence community, and even today, new entrants to Langley are told the story of how Darkshadow took out an entire Soviet battalion with a stick of chewing gum, a match and a .45 automatic pistol. Obama’s hands are registered weapons in all 57 states of the Union, he speaks 25 languages—including gibberish—and will order a Predator strike on a terrorist camp in the blink of an eye.
You’ve heard of the 5 days of drama on the high seas with the Maersk Alabama, and how cool Obama was in ordering the execution of the pirate—so cool, in fact, that he could sell a Ketchup Popsicle to an Eskimo. However, the truth has surfaced now on why it took 5 days to order the hit on the pirate, and that truth is because Obama wanted to take the shot himself. And he did, sending a message of warning that Agent Darkshadow would tolerate piracy no more. If not true, then why have no terrorist attacks been made against America yet? Because Osama Bin Laden has a deep fear of Agent Darkshadow.
Appearing as the bumbling, incompetent President of the United States, Agent Darkshadow has a more apocalyptic agenda for the terrorists. He’ll try them in a federal courtroom—a fate that is far worse than being water boarded. Terrorists will squirm as they are forced to listen to hours of testimony and egregious outbursts by over paid attorneys, suffer dramatically as their defense attorney tells them to take the Fifth Amendment, and become horrified when they’re gagged for screaming, “Death to the infidels!”
This is a plot so intelligent and so devious that it could only come from the Harvard produced mind of Barack Obama, Codemane: Darkshadow. So if you’re Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Mark Levin, or you just live in fear of a terrorist attack, worry no more, because Agent Darkshadow has your back.
Mark Levin Increases Sex Lives Of Radio Salesmen In Oregon
I am truly exhausted. After three weeks on the road, I need a rest. I even made a stop through Las Vegas, Nevada, something Obama failed to tell me not to do in time. I was unaware that now I’m supposed to officially hate Las Vegas, but after Obama’s declaration, I will no longer spend a dime in that Saddam and Gomorrah. But that’s the risk you take when you don’t have MSNBC.
Many of you wonder what I do, and I would tell you, but I’m afraid that I might get run over by some Obama voter. In short, it’s a job I hate. Many of you know exactly what I’m talking about, but for those that don’t or can’t make that connection, it’s like putting mayonnaise on a crap sandwich. It just doesn’t quite dress it up enough. Next time I’ll try Grey Poupon instead. Maybe that’ll help.
Nevertheless, my job takes me to exotic places like Los Angeles, California and Hermiston, Oregon. Of course, in Los Angeles, they even give such nice middle finger gestures. They’re really wonderful people out there. I even get to meet people from diverse backgrounds, and I was surprised to learn that I’m really not racist or anti-Semitic. I actually like people of different skin colors and various religious backgrounds. It’s something I’m going to have to work on if I’m to ever live up to being a conservative. I better go down and purchase some white sheets too, because my wife insists on color. With white sheets, jackboots and dark sunglasses, I can easily be identified at any future conservative rallies I attend.
But going from one place to another gives you time to think about how you can make your job more challenging and interesting. So, I thought I’d stop off at one of the newest affiliates to carry the Mark Levin Show to see just how things are going for this up and coming station. In my job, there’s nothing more annoying than to tune in the Mark Levin Show in one state and lose it in another. If things are indeed going well, then it can only mean good things for future radio stations and the Mark Levin Show.
The stop brought me to affiliate AM 320 WANG in Ontario, Oregon, where Mark Levin isn’t just a way of life for the people of Ontario, he’s a God. And it all appears to be the handiwork of WANG, airing the Mark Levin Show everyday between 6 p.m. – 9 p.m. EST. In town, they call it the “Big WANG,” where the motto of the radio station is “if you’re not impressed by the Big WANG, then you’re probably a lesbian.”
A visit with the radio station manager Dick Avery revealed that they don’t just carry Mark Levin, but they also carry Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity. It appears that things were going well before Mark Levin, but after Mark Levin, according to Dick, they just started to clean up in advertising, and that “many of their salesmen actually have a sex life now.”
Dick even took me on a tour of the station to show me just how happy and productive his sales staff has become. “My salesmen are happier and more productive than ever before,” pointed out Avery. “Look at Ned over there, the one with the bad toupee, ketchup on his tie and wart on his nose.”
I winced. “Yes I do.”
“Well, he’s a chick magnet now. And all of it’s because we picked up the Mark Levin Show. Before the Mark Levin Show, Ned’s picture was in the local Planned Parenthood clinic with the caption, ‘Don’t Let This Happen To You.’ Now, he’s the town stud. So why don’t you go over and visit Ned to get the whole story.”
I strolled over to see Ned, obtaining an understanding of the inner workings of the radio sales business at the Big WANG. It was truly amazing to see, but Ned’s story was far more amazing. However, I was unexpected to learn of the sheer attraction that women have for Ned now that he works for the Big WANG, and especially because he leads all others in advertising sales because of the Mark Levin Show.
Ned let me know that just carrying Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity isn’t enough. “In Mark Levin’s own words, ‘you’ve got to carry the clean up hitter’ to make a difference,” remarked Ned. “Women used to run at the site of me. I was thinking of joining the priesthood. Then, one night, I was in a bar receiving yet another rejection until I told her that I worked for the Big WANG and that we carried Mark R. Levin. Several shots later, in the immortal words of Reverend Jeremiah Wright, ‘I was ridin’ dirty.’ Since then, all I have to do is carry a copy of Liberty & Tyranny: A Conservative Manifesto, some condoms and a bottle of Tequila, and I’m in play so to speak. God, I love my job.”
Every salesman at the Big WANG tells a similar tale of the extraordinary powers that Mark Levin has in getting them laid. Heck, to hear it over and over, one might think that the salesmen at the Big WANG have laid more pipe than Halliburton.
The truth of the Mark Levin Show has become clear. He isn’t just a beacon of Constitutional conservatism, but he’s instrumental in increasing the productivity of every radio salesmen across America. So pick up the phone and call the Mark Levin Show now. Your sales staff’s libido is counting on that very decision. Don’t you want to get laid? Call Levin and experience the feelings of bliss that only the Mark Levin Show can bring your community. If you don’t believe me, take a trip to Ontario, Oregon, and ask the people how they feel about their Big WANG.
And when you leave Ontario, Oregon, as I did, you too will be impressed by the impact of Mark Levin and the Big WANG.
A Letter For The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism
Dear Mark R. Levin,
The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism
As I embark on my next trip over the road, it cannot be overstated how much I will miss your show. You are indeed the “Constitutional Engine of Conservatism,” sir, and you are a force in talk radio. Rush Limbaugh loves to say “that we all have our roles.” Well, it is certainly clear what yours is, and I, along with millions of Americans, are forever thankful that you give us your brand of conservative truth every day.
Not only do we enjoy the fact that you systematically destroy liberals on a daily basis, but we are forever grateful to you for your prolific writing of books and articles. Liberty & Tyranny: A Conservative Manifesto is a book of historic proportions, and will, in the end, be looked upon by scholars as a book that recaptured the spirit of conservatism. Thank you for all that you’ve done, all that you do, and all that you will do in defense of liberty, sir. Your role is just as important as those that have blazed the way in battle—for you give Americans a voice that do not currently have one, save on Election Day.
It is very difficult to pick up your radio show on the West Coast. It’s difficult because far too many program directors haven’t a clue about your level of genius. Instead the radio is filled with either Wiener Nation, or some local personality that wants to talk about the new street light at third and Belmont. But plenty of Jack Daniels always seems to get me through. So I ask all program directors and radio management, why do you not carry Mark R. Levin? Are you daft, or do you really hate America?
You are an inspiration to many people, sir. Americans can certainly never repay you for what you do for this country. I know that there is no dollar amount that could equal the Constitutional education that I have received upon listening to your program. I hope that you will continue to stay in the fight for liberty as I will, and I hope that your days are blessed.
Rush Limbaugh is also fond of saying, “We never tell people what they mean to us before they’re gone.” Well, now I’m telling you what you mean to me and America. Keep up the great work that you do for the American people. For yours is the noblest of efforts, sir. And know that I will eagerly await another broadcast day of the Constitutional Engine of Conservatism.
Sincerely,
Chris Davis
Martha Coakley Launches Last Minute Desperation Campaign: “Come With Coakley”
Boston, MA—In what could only be labeled as a last ditch, desperation effort, Martha Coakley has launched her new campaign: “Come With Coakley.” What is the new campaign? It’s an all out effort to turn out the vote in the greater Boston area by simply “giving it up” to anyone that is willing to vote for her. The invitation extends to all able-bodied voters regardless of race, color, creed, religion or sexual orientation.
Ms. Coakley is booking a suite in the Four Season Boston hotel for January 16 – January 18, 2010, taking the offensive all the way up to Tuesday, January 19, 2010. The Four Season Boston is a five star hotel located in downtown Boston. All suites are elegantly furnished, and “capture the old-world charm of Boston, and feature bay windows that open onto enticing views of the city.”
Coakley is quick to point out that rather than have long lines of people waiting in the lobby; it would be much easier to set up an appointment with her campaign manager. Appointments are set in fifteen minute increments, and according to Campaign Manager Kevin Conroy, if you can’t get it done in fifteen minutes, then you can’t get it done.
Experts have stated that this could easily spearhead a turnout of Democrats never before seen in Massachusetts. The problem, experts argue, “is if liberals show up, how is it certain that Coakley will get their vote?”
Coakley has pondered this point and simply answered, “It’s a chance I’m willing to take, a sacrifice that I’m willing to make for my country. Let’s see Scott Brown do that. Bring your voter registration, your condom and your patriotism, and you are guaranteed to have a good time, baby. You know you want me.”
Right now, Ms. Coakley has even set up her own website: Come With Coakley, and liberals in Massachusetts are signing up in droves. Appointment times begin as early as 6:00 a.m. on January 16, 2009, and ended as late as 11:00 p.m. January 18, 2009. Since most liberals are unlikely to go to the polls anyway, the campaign feels that this just might turn out enough votes to overcome the Scott Brown surge.
“I signed up early,” claimed Larry Frint, a 35-year old UAW employee. “I’m not gonna be the last guy in there.”
“I haven’t been laid since the Clinton campaign in ’96,” said an elated 82-year old Mark Finklesteen. “I’m not going to let this wonderful opportunity slip away.”
“Maybe she’ll dress up with some spike heels,” noted 42-year old Christine Flame. “She’s so totally smoking hot. I can’t wait.”
The citizens of Massachusetts are ready for this election, but liberals everywhere are salivating at the thought of sleeping with Martha Coakley. As a Massachusetts voter, are you ready to “Come With Coakley?”
“Sign up now,” fired Martha Coakley. “Spank me, punish me, have your way with me, and let’s do it for our country.”
Scott Brown Releases New Commercial Transcript
Commercial opens on the steps of the Capitol Building in Washington, D.C. Gently, the American flags waves in the back ground. As the camera lens zooms in, Scott Brown emerges from the building.
Do I Have Your Support?
Brown: Hello. I’m Scott Brown, and I’m running for the U.S. Senate in the state of Massachusetts. I’m running as a conservative. (Laughs) I know that seems strange, but now a days it seems as though we’re a dying breed. But let me assure you that there are many of us here in the northeast, and across this great country. I know it doesn’t seem so, but thanks to those lying bags of crap in the media, Americans just don’t know how many of us there are. So I’m asking for your help. I need people to make calls, people to go door to door, and people to knee cap any thugs that get in the way at the polling place. Most of all, I need your money.
Asking for your money seems so terrible in this recessionary climate, but let me ask you something. Do you really hate the Democrat Party? (Laughs) No, I mean really hate the Democrat Party. You know…the kind of hate that makes you want to bash their skull in with a 12-gauge shotgun. Or maybe just pull all their fingernails and toenails out with a pair of vice grips. (Laughs) Well…I do. I can’t help it. Especially when I hold them responsible for this very recession we’re in. Just think about it. This is the party that wants to strip your liberty. This is the party that wants to sentence your grandmother to death, and this is the party that is strangling the greatest country in the world. In fact, why don’t they just take everyone over the age of 65 and have them executed.
They’re accomplishing the same result with this healthcare bill. And worse…they don’t give a crap whether you like it or not! You can do something about it! Send me to Washington, D.C. so we can stop the flow of Marxism. Say no to Democratic Party terror. Say no to Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi and Martha Coakley—a woman that is so stupid that she actually thought Afghanistan was a Scandinavian country. Do you really want to send someone that stupid to Congress? Do you want to send someone who claims “there are no terrorists in Afghanistan?” I say hell no! Let’s stop the tyranny! Let’s turn the tide! And that’s why I need your money.
Scene changes with Scott Brown standing outside of Fenway Park.
Right now, the Democrat Party is spending more money on this election than a drunken sailor in the Red Light District in Germany. They need Martha Coakley to keep their 60-vote margin in the U.S. Senate. I say let’s give the Democrat Party in the U.S. Senate a big enema. Let’s give them a little taste of what they’ve been giving the American people. Take a look at Fenway Park behind me. If the Democrat Party continues screwing the citizens of Massachusetts, there won’t be anyone that can afford to attend a ballgame here. If you decide to elect Martha Coakley, then you might as well bring in the bulldozers and turn this place into a parking lot! It’s a great ball club and I’d hate to see it go. That’s how important this election is. But don’t listen to me; listen to some of the people on the street.
A lady approaches wearing a Red Sox baseball jacket.
Brown: Hello, ma’am. I’m Scott Brown and I’m running for the U.S. Senate. (Shakes her hand)
Lady: Hi…Jane, and yes, I’ve heard of you and you’re awesome!
Brown: Thank you very much. Can I count on your vote to stop sheep crap known as the Democrat Party?
Jane: Yes, sir. I’d rather be raped, beaten and left for dead than to vote for Martha Coakley. You have my support and my vote!
A man approaches wearing a Brooks Brothers suit.
Brown: Hello, I’m Scott Brown and I’m running for the U.S. Senate against Martha Coakley.
Man: Yes. Let me shake your hand. My name is James. I hate that b%$#! Coakley. Didn’t one of her thugs attack a Weekly Standard reporter?
Brown: Yes, indeed. That’d be Martha Coakley.
James: You have my full support in this election. I’d much rather have all my fingers and toes cut off than to vote for a Democrat. I want you to go to the U.S. Senate and stick your foot so far up Harry Reid’s ass that he can taste your shoe polish.
Brown: I would be more than happy to do that. And thanks for your support.
Brown: You see. You’re not alone, America. Let’s go to Washington and begin to take our country back from these Communist bastards! Do I have your support?
Commercial fades to black with voice over.
Voice: Paid for by the committee to elect Scott Brown. Isn’t it time to take back your country? Yes it is, because no one wants a death sentence.
This is not an actual transcript of a commercial for Scott Brown. It is done in a purely satirical manner. But Elective Decisions supports Scott Brown for the U.S. Senate.
Boston Woman Found Dead After Glenn Beck/Sarah Palin Interview
Evidence At The Scene
Boston, MA—For a local Boston woman, a phone call to 911 came too late. Police and paramedics responded to the woman’s apartment on 2410 Nonesuch Boulevard, at 6:10 p.m. EST (Eastern Standard Time), to find the woman, Carrie Sedgewick, sitting in her chair, with her mouth open and drool running down her face.
Ms. Sedewick was also gripping a picture of Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton with scribbling across it that read, “My Hero.” In her lap, lay a half eaten bowl of popcorn, and on the wall above the television, was a drawing of Sarah Palin encircled with a bar across Palin’s face.
Paramedics tried several times to revive her, but was finally pronounced dead at the scene. From the scant clues obtained at the scene and with 911, it appeared that Ms. Sedewick was watching the Sarah Palin interview on the Glenn Beck Show when she suddenly began to choke on the popcorn. The 911 operator, Jerry Gillmore, said that he received the call from Ms. Sedgewick at 5:45 p.m. EST, when she claimed that Palin mentioned the words, “No theocracy,” and according to Gillmore, Ms. Sedgewick abruptly hung up. Gillmore dispatched the police and paramedics to the scene where they found Ms. Sedgewick in the chair.
More details are certain to emerge after the coroner performs Ms. Sedewick’s autopsy. After speaking with her neighbors, it is clear that Ms. Sedgewick “hated Sarah Palin more than any other person alive.” The neighbors also stated that she was an avowed atheist, and that anytime Palin mentioned the word, “God,” Ms. Sedewick would become incensed with rage.
“Yeah, she used to own a dartboard with Palin’s face on it,” stated Mary Shelltower. “I have a profound respect for the dead, but she was a real pain in the ass. She was always butting her nose into everyone’s business, complaining to the landlord for every little noise, and trying to indoctrinate us on government run healthcare. Quite frankly, I was sick of her. So thank you, Sarah Palin.”
“As a big supporter of Sarah Palin,” claimed Paramedic Jim Jones. “I recorded the Glenn Beck interview. Seeing what she did to Ms. Sedgewick, I can’t wait to watch it when I get home. You rock, Sarah!”
Officer Terry Moran was not so sympathetic towards Ms. Sedgewick either. “I guess that’s one less liberal that can screw up America,” laughed Moran while giving Jones a high five. “Yes, indeed, Palin for POTUS in 2012! She’s definitely got my vote now. She’s single handedly knocking off liberals one at a time. God, I love strong, conservative women.”
While Ms. Sedgewick’s death was startling, many wonder just how many other liberals choked on their popcorn during the Glenn Beck interview with Sarah Palin. One thing is for certain: America is lucky to have Sarah Palin.
Doctor Ben Carson Discovers Medical Link Between Liberals And Limited Brain Activity
Baltimore, MD—Medical science can now deliver undisputable proof that liberals show limited to no brain activity, a concept that conservatives have long embraced. And thanks to Dr. Benjamin Carson, Director of the Division of Pediatric Neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins, a medical link has been determined through scientific research and good old fashioned hard work.
Dr. Carson’s chief areas of focus are traumatic brain injuries, brain and spinal cord tumors, achondroplasia, neurological and congenital disorders, craniosynastosis, epilepsy and trigeminal neuralgia. Dr. Carson’s expertise was sought out after many neurosurgeons across America have failed to make any connection between liberals and brain activity.
Since Barack Obama’s election, Dr. Carson has been hard at work to find the specific area of the brain that is damaged. During that time, he has always maintained that “liberals have shown little brain activity,” resulting in bitter disappointments, feeling that hundreds of thousands of children will grow up untreated from years of public education. However, his hard work may finally be rewarded.
According to Dr. Carson, it appears that liberals suffer from limited or no brain activity in the left and right hemispheres of the brain. “The left hemisphere of the brain is where logic is processed,” detailed Carson. “The right area of the brain is where the big picture is processed. This means that one may see the end result, but have no clue about how to get there. This, unfortunately, is a common problem for Democrat politicians, public school teachers and union administrators.”
Evidence Of Liberal Brain Damage
Dr. Carson goes on to add that “liberalism damages an equal amount of brain tissue in both hemispheres,” and that “removal of the entire brain may be the only way to save the adult liberal.” “There is hope for children,” argued Carson. “We have actually seen results from parents that force their children to listen to Rush Limbaugh for three hours a day. Their cognitive functions improved drastically, and evidence of the synapses firing was shown in pictures of the brain. It was utterly astounding! In this case, it is in the best interest of the public educated children that you have an MRI done on their brain today. If left untreated, simple things such as bathing, proper use of bathroom facilities and voting will likely elude them. This is not a guarantee, but I believe that a total removal of the brain may be the only way to save adults like Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi. Please, let’s leave no child behind.”
Dr. Carson goes on to explain that his experiments showed that adults who watched MSNBC, CNN, ABC, NBC and CBS showed a dramatic reduction of brain activity, and those who watched FOX News and listened to Rush Limbaugh showed that they had some of the finest minds in America.
“For liberals, it’s almost as if someone has taken a knife and carved out the center of the brain,” declared Carson. “Don’t let this happen to your child. Seek medical help immediately if your child starts telling you things like: ‘we must save the planet, mommy,’ or ‘the public option for healthcare is a good thing, daddy.’”
If you suspect that you work with a liberal, Dr. Carson advises us that some of the signs include walking around with dead eyes, not knowing what to do, not caring, urinating or defecating on themselves and out of nowhere, screaming, “It’s Bush’s fault!” If these symptoms are present, call the Center for Liberal Brain Removal as soon as possible and keep America safe.
Experts agree that a brain removal, though drastic, may indeed be the only way to save America from liberalism, stating, “That a person as a vegetable has far more substantial thought patterns than a liberal does.”
“At last,” exclaimed Mark Levin. “This finally explains Barack Obama.”
