Northeasterners Fear Palin’s Exodus Will Lead To Hee Haw In The White House
New York—Even though Palin’s exodus has the media buzzing, there is a quiet whisper in the northeast that this could lead to a 2012 Presidential bid for the White House. Throughout the halls of Harvard and Yale, and in the Washington D.C. beltway, a growing apprehension is turning into fear.
For many “conservatives” inside the beltway, Palin’s resignation as Governor of Alaska means only one thing: hoedowns at the White House. This, of course, would be acceptable only to the rubes that occupy flyover country—the same kind of Americans that dared to elect Ronald Reagan and advocate for the social conservative cause, an unmitigated disaster for all things fine in life.
As the silence continues from Palin, “conservatives” in the northeast are scared out of their wits. Not only does she no longer have the Republican Party to keep her “in line,” but now she can drum up support amongst the “natives,” sitting down to eat grits with southerners, going hunting and fishing with hicks in the Midwest, and worst yet: frequenting sites like Free Republic—an internet site that makes even the brightest of Harvard intellectuals feel as though a veil of shame has been draped over them.
“Her attire is ghastly,” cackled Peggy Noonan. “She is a fashion train wreck, and doesn’t she have something like twenty children? It’s awful to think of her in our White House…it baffles the mind.”
“What’s even scarier to think about,” commented New York Times Columnist David Brooks, “is that she might even serve Sloppy Joe’s at a cocktail party. Not to mention, she fishes and hunts. Oh, God, now I need a Martini.”
“This woman could tear down the entire Republican Party,” said Joe Bankston III. “She practically has no money, her husband works for a living, and she’s admitted that she’s a protestant. And you’re out with three strikes as far as I’m concerned.”
“Every time we talk about her at cocktail parties,” stated Andrew Sullivan, “the movie Deliverance comes up. It would be as if we had the television show Hee Haw on display for the rest of the world. And to make matters worse…she’s pro life. Dear God help us all!”
“I’m afraid I fear the worst,” added Peggy Noonan. “All she needs is Buck Owens and a banjo. The thought of that makes me queasy. All one needs to say when talking about Ms. Palin is that she is liked by Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Mark Levin, and that gets a belly full of laughter at a cocktail party. God almighty! Where have all the good “conservatives” gone? Too bad Arnold Schwarzenegger isn’t a native born citizen. He’s the sort of strapping individual we need.”
Man Blames Sarah Palin For Distraction
Carol Stream, IL—Ron Bellarsky once lived a normal, happy life, going to work and home on a daily basis. But lately, Ron has been distracted. Far too distracted to go to work, take care of his kids or even get a good night’s sleep. It isn’t Barack Obama prancing through Russia that has him distracted. It’s Sarah Palin and her resignation that has left an ugly scar on his world.
At least that’s what Bellarsky claims. He says that she’s interrupted the smooth flow of every day life, and “that she needs to just go away to help bring all things back into focus.”
“This is ridiculous,” claimed Bellarsky. “I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since July 2nd. Can’t she just go away without all the press coverage? She ruined my entire life and destroyed my July 4th holiday. Stop the insanity!”
Once a mild mannered postal employee, Bellarsky continues to suffer under the Palin speculation and constant media coverage. “It was an awful experience,” stated Bellarsky. “I went into work on Monday, and I couldn’t even sort the mail. I just shrunk into a corner and started sobbing uncontrollably.”
“He has improved,” added Barabara Bellarsky. “Since the shock therapy, he doesn’t sit there and drool anymore. I can see hope and change on the horizon. Now if we can just get that Michael Jackson out of the news, life would be wonderful!”
As pundits, media and Americans at water coolers continue to speculate on Palin, psychiatrists everywhere wonder just how many Americans will suffer the same fate as Ron Bellarsky.
Poll Asks: Who Represents Conservatism More?
With the continuous assault on conservatism, Elective Decisions wants to know who represents it more? Is it people like Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Mark Levin or Tom Ridge and John McCain? We want to know what you think.
Tom Ridge Throws Down Gauntlet On Rush Limbaugh
Washington—Having had enough of Limbaugh’s criticism of Colin Powell, Tom Ridge laid down the gauntlet on Rush Limbaugh, evicting him from the Republican Party. The event took place after the interview on CSPAN’s Washington Journal where Ridge took a strong stance, supporting Colin Powell and blaming Limbaugh and Dick Cheney for having “a mindset,” that doesn’t foster unity.
Rush Limbaugh responded in like kind, saying, “I must have missed something, because I remember that Colin Powell endorsed the Democrat, Barack Obama, at a strategic point in the campaign in 2008. And then he went out later and said, ‘Americans want more spending, bigger government, and higher taxes,’ before California threw that one in the trash.”
So this morning, Ridge went back on Washington Journal, responding to Limbaugh’s rhetoric. “I’m so sick of Rush Limbaugh. He’s the reason we lose elections. He needs to get the hell out of the Republican Party. As far as I’m concerned, he isn’t a Republican anymore. The man’s running. The man’s hiding. He’s too scared to face me!”
Ridge continued his rant, threatening Limbaugh. “Meanwhile, he sits there in his ‘Southern Command Post,’ and destroys the Republican Party! I’d like to just have three rounds in a boxing ring with that guy so I could shut him up! I’m caling you out, Limbaugh. Let’s see if you have a big enough set of marbles to back up your crap!”
Poll Asks: Should Governor Mark Sanford Resign?
Should Governor Mark Sanford resign? We want to know what the people think here at Elective Decisions. When voting, consider whether this affair has any basis on his job as governor, or is it so reprehensible that his job just doesn’t matter? Did he use taxpayer money during his rendezvous? We ask. You decide.
Happy Father’s Day: Mark Levin and Rush Limbaugh
Father’s Day is here! A day when dear old dad will receive another tie, pair of socks or if he’s lucky, that gift he really wants. But other than the commercial aspects of the day, what is a father? Is he just a man that is to receive a gift on his special day? Or is he something far more?
It seems as though Americans are bombarded with commercial after commercial on the appropriate gift for dad. They are free to choose to select a card, a gift, or celebrate Father’s Day in whatever manner they deem appropriate. Having no children or father—who passed away four years ago—I am therefore free to celebrate that day the way I choose to celebrate it. And I do.
But I don’t celebrate Father’s Day in a traditional way; rather, I pay tribute to those men that I have respect and admiration for—those that have contributed to my growth as a conservative man. My father and the U.S. Army were the two largest contributors to my growth as a man.
Between the two, I was taught everything I needed to know about being a man in America. However, there were many things I needed to learn when it came to my growth as a conservative. And specifically, there were two individuals that would teach me just those principles: Rush Limbaugh and Mark Levin.
I first encountered Rush Limbaugh while working at the Texas Department of Transportation in the fall of 1992. There, I performed security work, walking through the three buildings that they owned at the time to make sure they were secure. The buildings were made up of engineers, and there were always plans strewed about, as if they were desperately searching for something lost.
I happened to work the second shift from 4 p.m. – 12 a.m. It was tedious work, frequently finding myself bored from the routine, and the lack of anything remotely eventful happening. One night I turned one of the televisions on, flipping the channels to find something to break the monotony.
I did find something—a man I’d never seen making fun of the Clinton administration, and making sense while doing it. That man was none other than Rush Hudson Limbaugh III. He was performing another flawless episode of Rush Limbaugh The Television Show. He was espousing conservative principles. This, of course, was in direct conflict to everything I’d known growing up.
He was funny and educating, and in a few shows, I began to question the liberal concepts I’d been raised to believe. Before long, I was listening to his daily radio program and learning even more. Eventually, all remaining liberalism was removed, as if a doctor had removed a cancerous tumor. Rush had indeed brought me “home,” and for that I am forever grateful.
Over the years, he has continued to educate me in conservative thought, keeping me optimistic through the Clinton administration, and even today during Obama’s soft, oppressive tyranny. Even more remarkably, Rush introduced me to Mark R. Levin—a gift for which I can never repay.
The introduction came when Rush had mention “F. Lee Levin,” on his radio. He had done so many times on his show before, but this time, he noted that Mark had his own radio show on 77WABC out of New York. It was in the winter of 2003 that I was able to start streaming Mark online. And since, I have been given an education on the U.S. Constitution unequaled among his peers.
Now that Mark is nationally syndicated, he can reach people online, driving home or eating dinner while listening to his daily program that exhibits his own special brand of broadcast excellence. From Men In Black to Liberty & Tyranny: A Conservative Manifesto, Mark Levin offers me a look at the U.S. Constitution as if it were taken directly from the Founding Fathers.
When it comes to Constitutional law, there is Mark Levin, and there is every one else. He is, in essence, one of the finest minds that America has to offer. He inspires, educates and promotes liberty on his daily radio program. Through his articles, he points out flaws in liberal thinking, and in Liberty & Tyranny, he defines conservatism and attacks the “Statist” mentality.
Where would conservatism be without Rush Limbaugh and Mark Levin? Are there two greater thinkers in America today? Or as Mark Levin writes on page 10 of Liberty & Tyranny: A Conservative Manifesto, “The Conservative does not despise government. He despises tyranny. This is precisely why the Conservative reveres the Constitution and insists on adherence to it.”
Over the last four years, I have chosen to celebrate Father’s Day by paying tribute to our Founding Fathers. And in a sense, this year, I am paying tribute to men just as great, and just as devoted to American liberty, its cause and its people. So, I choose to pay tribute to Rush Limbaugh and Mark Levin.
In simple terms, I think of the efforts of these two men as equal to the efforts of those men that stood so boldly in Philadelphia. They may not be in fear of King George’s tyranny, but they face an equal threat in the soft tyranny of Barack Obama and today’s Democratic Party.
Yet, they remain ever vigilant in the cause of this Republic. Much like John Hancock, Rush Limbaugh is a leader of conservatives and talk radio. He uses every resource at his disposal to further liberty in America, and he has unanimously been elected this leader by the American people year after year.
In Mark Levin’s case, his gallant nature, and fiery commentary can only be equaled by Patrick Henry. His daily show attacks the tyranny that liberals spread; his enthusiasm and love of America have been exhibited in his books, and his promotion of liberty can be heard on his radio program as if to say, “Give me liberty or give me death!”
I have no doubt that if the Founding Fathers were to listen to these conservatives on the air they would undoubtedly be proud—proud that their principles had not been forgotten, and sickened by the mantra of today’s left. Where in deed would America be if not for these two?
So, I want to wish Rush Limbaugh and Mark Levin a Happy Father’s Day. And I would also like to wish Sean Hannity a Happy Father’s Day as well, for he is just as responsible as the other two. Thank you for all that you do for the great American cause.
For Father’s Day, Poll Asks Who Is Your Favorite Founding Father?
At Elective Decisions, we salute all fathers everywhere on Father’s Day. However, we’d like to know just who your favorite Founding Father is, realizing that it was their efforts that helped bring about this great nation. So just who is your favorite Founding Father?
FOX News Becoming Anti-Obama Network
New York—As the healthcare debate rages, FOX News continues to run stories that oppose Barack Obama and the White House’s position on a national healthcare. Since ABC announced their incestuous relationship with the White House, FOX has been criticized by Obama for their attacks on him, his administration and their policies.
And now, FOX has run a story quoting GOP Chairman Michael Steele, and Rick Scott, chairman of Conservatives for Patients Rights. The story—“Critics Attack ABC News for Refusing to Air Opposing Ads During Obama’s Health Care Special”—is just another in a long line of stories that have aired on FOX that take Obama to task.
“It is unfortunate—and unusual—that ABC is refusing to accept paid advertising that would present an alternative viewpoint for the White House health care program,” Rick Scott said in a statement, noting estimates that potential legislation costs at least $1 trillion of taxpayer money.”
It is exactly these kinds of stories—with reporters doing their job—that has the White House up in arms. And in the White House’s point of view, FOX News might as well be broadcasting from Rush Limbaugh’s house. It is exactly this kind of thought that has many the White House claiming that FOX News is the anti-Obama network.
Elective Decisions certainly appreciates it when reporters actually do their job instead of being political partisan hacks. So we salute FOX News for doing just that. Their job and nothing more.
To read the FOX News story, click the link below:
