Re-Create 68 Vows Bloodbath At Democratic Convention
Denver—With a recent move to relegate peaceful protestors beneath the Denver homeless population, Re-create 68 has now vowed that there will indeed be “a bloodbath” at the Democratic National Convention should they try to keep them fenced in.
The American Civil Liberties Union and several advocacy groups have filed an amended complaint to their lawsuit, stating that their First Amendment rights have been violated by security restrictions.
“What the hell do they think we are? Barnyard animals,” asked Tom Mestnik, a member of The Re-create ’68 Alliance, an umbrella group organizing the protesters. “They’re giving the homeless a free pass while we’re being shoveled away like excrement! If they want dissent, we’ll give them a Boston Tea Party they’ll never forget!”
Glenn Spagnuolo, a spokesman for The Re-create ’68 Alliance, noted that the planned site is hundreds of feet away, obscured by tents by the media.
“This is ridiculous,” fired Spagnuolo. “If those pigs think they can keep us caged up like animals, they have another thing coming. I won’t bathe for a month, and I’ll take as many fascist cops with me. I’ve been waiting for this all my life! The pigs will burn!”
The trial date for the Constitutionality of the fences is set July 29, 2008. Meanwhile, Americans watch as the Democratic National Convention’s soap opera plays on the national stage.
“This is about as good as it gets,” laughed Tom DeLay. “You normally wouldn’t want anyone hurt, but this is one of those rare circumstances where a few hospitalizations would be good for the country.”
The Hammer would be a nice addition to the fray.
SouthTexas
July 5, 2008 at 9:48 pm
What stupidity. Like the ‘68 convention was such a success for progressives that we have to do it again. Yes, they should not fence in protesters and they should not deprive them of their rights. That said, promising violence as a response pretty much justifies fencing people in.
Matt Silb
July 6, 2008 at 1:14 am
You are an asshole. I know this is supposed to be satire, but it is irresponsible satire. No one from our groups even remotely speaks in that manner. Do not attribute statements to us that we did not make.
glenn spagnuolo
July 6, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Such eloquence Glenn. Obviously you are correct since you cannot speak without cursing.
SouthTexas
July 6, 2008 at 11:11 pm
I am not an asshole, Mr. Spagnuolo. I am an American, fighting in the forces that guard my country and our way of life. I support the Union, encouraging dissent against liberty. I do not, however, support stupidity in any way, shape or form.
electivedecisions
July 6, 2008 at 11:21 pm
Dear Glenn, the fact that it IS satire, and the fact that it is POSTED as satire is plainly evident. If you can’t handle the satire, stay out of the kitchen.
Hint to Glenn (no one else read this): The immediate use of obscene namecalling indicates a rather shallow mind that cannot articulate an argument effectively. Try again soon.
Boompa
July 7, 2008 at 10:59 pm