Elective Decisions

Washington, D.C.—With the price of gas topping above $4 per gallon, Americans say that drilling is the top priority above all else.  Consumers have signaled Congress to open the outer continental shelf now.

According to the new Zogby Poll, taken June 29-July 4, 88% of Americans think drilling here, and drilling now is more important than anything else.  That compares to 45% just two short years ago.  The poll result show that Americans want growth, noting to Congress, “Screw the environment.  Drill here.  Drill now!”

Greenpeace and their deputy campaigns director, Carroll Muffett, notes that protection of the environment should come at America’s expense.

“The moratoriums for offshore drilling were adopted for a reason,” said Muffett. “Americans are far too stupid to determine what’s best for their own good.  I hope America understands just what its greed hath wrought!  And, of course, it’s easy to run the country into the ground when your party in Congress supports you 100% of the time.  I’m glad America has to swallow this bitter pill!”

Amidst the upward spike in gas prices, Congress’ approval rating dipped to all new low of ten percent.  Newt Gingrich, founder of Drill Here, Drill Now, Pay Less, has suggested that drilling on the outer continental shelf will not only help reduce the price of oil, but it will also reduce America’s dependence on foreign oil.

“It’s this simple,” claimed Gingrich.  “These idiots in Congress are sitting on their arse while you pay more at the pump.  It only tells us that the Democratic Party doesn’t give a rat’s behind about America.”

With an election looming in November, the Democratic Party is apparently willing to roll the dice, shafting millions of Americans, and reminding us once again what conservatism can do for America.