Soviet-Era Gulags Being Constructed For Price Gouging At Pump
Louisville, KY—In an attempt to fix the prices at the gas pumps, Louisville’s Attorney General, Jack Conway, and Governor Steve Beshear, have ordered the construction of Soviet-Era Gulags for punishment of those convicted of price gouging at the gas pump.
The first phase of construction has begun at Fort Knox, Kentucky, with Governor Beshear flying in KGB operatives to help design and perfect the prisons, making it a veritable house of horrors for the convicted criminals.
“This isn’t just an idol threat,” fired Jack Conway, Kentucky’s Attorney General. “This facility will house the worst of all offenders. Gas stations that price gouge! They’re nothing but scum!”
Conway has insisted that these gas stations are “sticking it to the citizens of Kentucky to collect their windfall profits,” and that they “will be brought to justice!”
Governor Beshear has already met with many KGB operatives, detailing his plans for the conditions of the first ever Soviet-Era Gulag on American soil.
“I was quite surprised at some of the brutal techniques the KGB operatives suggested,” stated Governor Beshear. “Water boarding is just the beginning for these worthless windfall profiteers. Eventually, we’ll have the CEO’s for big oil flat on their backs. We’ll get our answers one way or the other. The citizens demand answers!”
With the gulag going up, it’s apparent that Governor Beshear, and Attorney General Conway will keep squeezing until they get the answers they want—even if it means trampling all over the U.S. Constitution.
