Elective Decisions

Yet Another Bush Foreclosure

Washington—In what could be a Depression-Era disaster, Senator Chris Dodd, D-CT, fears that many will become homeless—possibly scarred—if the housing bill isn’t passed, and signed into law by President Bush.

The $300 billion mortgage bill received a vote of approval in the U.S. Senate, but the rescue may not come to starving homeowners soon, largely because the House wants to change the legislation, and Bush has threatened to veto it, leaving thousands of children without a home.

“When you wake up in the morning with a foreclosure,” cried Dodd, “you have to face your children and your spouse.  How much longer do we need to debate?  I guess long enough for people to start jumping off buildings!”

The housing bill reportedly would allow sub prime borrowers at risk of foreclosure to refinance with mortgages backed by the Federal Housing Administration.  The bill also includes $14.5 billion in tax breaks, one of which is an $8,000 credit for first time home buyers.

“We just can’t wait any longer,” whimpered Chrissy Denim, a 38-year old mother of two.  “I just couldn’t live with myself if I thought another child had to go into foster care.  When will my government rescue me?”

“Since my husband ran off with a Las Vegas show girl last fall,” balled Teri Orbacher, a 42-year old accountant, “I’ve been wishing, hoping and praying that Barack Obama will save me.  But all I’ve got is Bush to put my children on the streets.  It’s not fair.”

“It’s not hard to understand,” claimed Dodd.  “If Americans won’t pay for their neighbor’s mortgage now, I’ll make sure they do it in the best interests of the children.”