Elective Decisions

San Antonio, TX—With newspaper stocks plummeting faster than Air America, and journalistic malpractice running rampant, many insurance companies are going to stop offering journalistic malpractice insurance.

Among the leaders to stop offering services is Argo Group US—a national underwriter of specialty insurance in the niche areas of the property-casualty market, including liability insurance for journalistic malpractice.

The decision for Argo Group US comes after the L.A. Times refused to release the Obama/Khalidi videotape, sending the newspaper’s stock and credibility into the toilet.  This, according to Chief Executive Officer Mark E. Watson III, “is just another reason why we can no longer do business with newspapers.”

“Because of moves like this,” noted Mark E. Watson III, “Argo Group US can no longer sustain its malpractice insurance for renegade journalism.  After reviewing the cost/benefit analysis, I’ve found it costs us to do business with them.  So out they go.”

AIG—one of the titans of the insurance industry—learned its lessons the hard way, dumping their journalistic malpractice insurance of The New York Times’ too late.

“The New York Times cost this company big,” claimed David L. Herzog, Executive Vice President and Chief Financial Officer.  “The failure to recognize The New York Times’ lack of integrity was an utter breakdown of company communications.  It almost closed our doors, and that went unreported.  Right now, I wouldn’t use The New York Times for toilet paper.”

United States Liability Insurance Group’s CEO, Thomas P. Nerney, had similar feelings on the matter, saying, “Newspapers are either folding, or not reporting what they should.  We just can’t afford to offer this insurance anymore.”

As newspaper stock continues to unravel quicker than Barack Obama at a town hall meeting, layoffs have become a way of life for journalists, forcing them into the world of business where integrity and ethical behavior means something.

“Besides,” added Herzog.  “With all these layoffs, there just aren’t enough reporters to sustain the system.  This systemic failure of incompetence will force newspapers to become the new buggy whip.”      

Washington—With the complete success of the Wall Street bailout, Democrats on Capitol Hill have drafted a $300 billion news media bailout plan.  The plan is designed to target the dying print media, reviving it to its former greatness.

The two chief concerns are to return newspapers and television to power before Rush Limbaugh, FOX News, and the new media take their foothold on America, as well as giving them an economic shot in the arm to create jobs.

Obama campaign spokesman, Bill Burton, told Elective Decisions that it’s apparent that “the print media is definitely on her last legs.”

“It’s obvious to me,” remarked Burton.  “When Obama has spent more than $300 million in ads alone and we still aren’t getting our message out, it can only mean this $300 billion dollar bailout is well needed.”

According to Washington insiders, the proposed legislation is expected to go to the hill on November 5, 2008, the day after Obama wins the presidency.

Reports have indicated that the Democrat Party demands this legislation be done immediately.  Leaders insist that it can provide the essential long term financial support media outlets need.

“Newspapers are dropping like flies,” stated Rep. Nancy Pelosi, D-CA.  “If we don’t do something now, it could really hurt this economy.  Besides, we can always tax the rich internet users to revive the print media.”

Rep. Barney Frank, D-CT, was brimming with excitement about the bailout plan.  “This is so titillating,” exclaimed Frank.  “This will create jobs from the top editorial writers to the paperboys.  It’s a winner no matter how you look at it!”

With a vote just more than a week away, many congressmen, especially Senator Jeff Bingaman, D-NM, expressed concern that it is simply a matter of fairness to the media.

“The Fairness Doctrine will shut down most of talk radio,” claimed Bingaman.  “How else will the people get their information?  We’ll need some balance.  Getting hard copy news in the hands of Americans is more than fair.  Limbaugh has ruled the roost long enough.”

Washington—As Senator Barack Obama, D-IL, measures the drapes in the Oval Office, one of his first reported moves is to fire and replace all 93 United States Attorneys on his first day.  The decision comes from the Obama camp as it appears Senator John McCain has flamed out in the polls.

With the election assured, Obama feels its time to flex his muscles and make the necessary announcements.  And according to David Axelrod, Obama’s campaign strategist, “the election is over,” and it’s time to “implement change in America.”

The kind of change that Axelrod implies is the kind that best advances the Obama agenda.  “The strategy is very simple,” suggested Axelrod.  “We fill up the U.S. Attorneys’ offices with the most Marxist oriented attorneys we can find.  Then we begin working on the federal judges.  In a matter of eight years, we can become the U.S.S.A. (United Socialist States of America).  It sends a tingle up my leg.”

Senator Joseph Biden, surprised to hear of the new plan, remarked, “Only 93? Heck, there are at least that many ACORN members qualified to do the job.”

As attorneys are replaced, it’s only a matter of time before Obama gets to appoint the crème de la crème of the judiciary:  The U.S. Supreme Court.

“In the past, the courts haven’t been radical enough to tackle redistributive wealth,” quipped Obama, “but when I’m through replacing U.S. Attorneys, and appointing justices to the U.S. Supreme Court, I won’t need any action in either the U.S. Senate or U.S. House of Representatives.”

“And don’t think,” Obama added, “that we have forgotten Bush.  We will still prosecute the Bush administration for the release of those eight attorneys.  That was just over the top.”

Columbus—In a stunning development, ACORN (Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now) has reportedly registered more Republican voters than Democrat voters in at least four states.  The four states—Ohio, Indiana, Pennsylvania and Nevada—are still counting the fraudulent registrations.

The final results are not in, but it appears—in their haste to cheat—that ACORN lost count of the number of registered Republicans, and according to ACORN spokesperson, Milt Bogdonovich, “may have created a possible landslide for John McCain in those states.”

“We’re looking at the number of registrations now,” stated Bogdonovich, “but it appears that Jennifer Brunner may be screwed in Ohio.  She did her best as a good Marxist though.”

More states are set to follow suit, verifying the actual number of Democrat registrants versus Republican registrants in eleven other states.  If the results show the same in all eleven states, this reportedly could be as big of an electoral victory since President Ronald Reagan’s defeat over Walter Mondale.

“We’ve filed a suit in all of the four states in question,” noted Bogdonovich.  “We also have lawyers ready to pounce in the eleven other states in question, because it’s cheating when Republicans do it, and down right patriotic when Democrats do it.  We at ACORN have faith in America’s legal system.”

Senator John McCain, R-AZ, isn’t going to let this go without a fight.  According to the McCain camp, he plans to use every one of those fraudulent ballots.

“We’re going to fight,” fired McCain.  “We’re going to take every one of those fraudulent ballots and stick them right down ACORN’s throat!”  

Chicago—In what could only be interpreted as stabbing American parents in the back, Bill Ayers and Senator Barack Obama, D-IL, plan to mandate the reading of The Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx in all public schools upon his election as President of the United States.

Elective Decisions has learned—through an anonymous spokesperson at the Heritage Foundation—that Bill Ayers would be tapped to head up the Department of Education, thereby changing American schools from within.  According to Bill Ayers, this is the kind of policy that is bold and would insert “a little anarchy” into American schools.

“This is a huge step in creating a brave, new America,” stated Ayers.  “It’s time the asinine principles of capitalism be thrown out.  We owe this to all the workers of the world.”

The policy is reported to be implemented for all schools—beginning at the kindergarten level—so that no child will be left behind.  This, according to the staffer, will begin the inculcation of America’s children.

“The guy is warped. He’s lost it,” claimed a Newsmax spokesperson. “Once the voters learn of this, they’ll send this guy back to Russia. Well…Chicago…same difference.”

Other properly selected works are to be mandated reading as well, such as Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler, Cuba: Heaven in the Caribbean by Miguel Tonto, The Life and Death of Adolf Hitler by Robert Payne, Mao Tse-Tung: Ruler Of Red China by Robert Payne, and Joseph Stalin: Russia’s Blessing by Zergy Dumkoff.

“I told you.  This guy is nuts,” fired the Newsmax spokesperson.  “I can’t turn back now.  With Bill Ayers as his friend and mentor, cranking up my car makes me sweat.  If I’d have come clean, my wife would be collecting on my insurance.  Michelle Obama would’ve made sure of that personally.”

“It’s about time our children learned something other than those misguided principles handed down by our Founding Fathers,” quipped Senator Joseph Biden.  “Senator Obama is ‘The One’ that can change America.”

“Change isn’t just something that happens,” noted Obama.  “It starts from the bottom up.  Just like the economy.  We start educating at the kindergarten level and when they graduate high school, we’ve got good little Marxists.  It’s as simple as that.  Then, the workers of the world may unite.”  

Washington—With a show of absolute power, Senator Harry Reid, D-NV, John Edwards, Rep. Nancy Pelosi, D-CA, and Senator Barack Obama, D-IL, have joined forces to form R.E.P.O., inc. (Reid, Edwards, Pelosi, Obama).

The show of solidarity was made to usher in the two significant events in American history – the election of Senator Barack Obama as President of the United States, and the repossession of Americans’ 401K plans, backing it with a guaranteed retirement account with government bonds.

R.E.P.O. is designed to protect America’s interest from the failures of the free market and capitalism, giving citizens hope for brighter days in their golden years.  According to reports from Capitol Hill, the plan works this way as a repurchase agreement for a financial institution.

The federal government will repossess your 401K, give you a three percent return through government bonds, and then if you live long enough to collect it, administer it back to you—via the Social Security Administration—at a much lower rate because of the astoundingly high taxes.

On Friday, October 31, 2008, R.E.P.O. will have a press conference on the steps of Capitol Hill, discussing the size and scope of the plan.  According to Rep. Pelosi, the size of the plan is what is most important, noting that “we don’t want Americans to feel cheated.”

“This is a huge plan,” stated Pelosi.  “Size does matter, and we don’t want the American people to feel like they’re getting the shaft here.”

“We really didn’t include John Edwards,” insisted Senator Harry Reid.  “We did love that ‘two Americas’ shtick so we put his name in there.  After watching his marriage unravel and newborn exposed, we wish him well.”

The new motto of R.E.P.O., reportedly coined by Senator Obama, is based on the long held Democrat philosophy, “we’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.” It will be the mantra used while the federal government steals the 401K plans out from under Americans.

“Remember,” snorted Obama, “the way to build an economy is from the bottom up. And after we get through implementing our tax plan, everyone will pretty much be on the bottom. By then you’ll probably appreciate that we put your 401K money in a lock-box.”

“For example,” Pelosi quipped. “We own the banks and many of the foreclosed homes. Once we socialize the oil industry, the health care industry and every retirement penny, we’ll be on easy street. There will be no more rainy days. God bless America!”

Honolulu—In what could only be interpreted as a direct slap in the face of liberty, Senator Barack Obama, D-IL, has eyed Bill Ayers, putting him on a short list as his Homeland Security Chief.

The move came as Obama scurried to be with his ailing grandmother in Honolulu, as well as using any means possible to silence anyone that dares to speak out against his birthright as an American.

Bill Ayers, the former Weather Underground terrorist, and now University of Illinois at Chicago Professor, was sought by Obama because of his vast experience with terrorist acts—beginning with the bombing of a police statue that launched pieces of the statue into the Kennedy Expressway.

In 1969, he participated in the Days of Rage riots in Chicago.  Later, he was forced to go underground in 1970 after the Greenwich Village townhouse explosions.  Underground, Ayers continued his terrorist ways by actively being involved in the bombings of the New York City Police Headquarters in 1970, the U.S. Capitol building in 1971, and The Pentagon in 1972.

Now, Professor Ayers excels in education, teaching American kids how to build bombs without getting caught.  It was that progressive action that prompted Ayers to state he would be “perfect for the job” as Homeland Security Director.

“I don’t mean to brag,” claimed Ayers, “but if there’s anyone that knows how to make bombs it’s me!  I know how to make them and set them off.  I can even teach your children how to do it and beat the rap.”

When asked by Elective Decisions to respond to Ayers’ comments, Obama stated, “Who better than Ayers to do the job?  He’s just the kind of change this country needs.”

“My baby’s daddy knows best,” bragged Michelle Obama.  “America will pay for the sins of the past!”

With Senator Barack Obama’s assured election as President of the United States, Ayers may be a foregone conclusion. Many upper-level Democrats seem to agree.

“Why not?” said Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, D-CA. “Terrorists know terrorism. This can only help us in this century of fear.”

The cannonballs ripped through the rock wall, sending bits of rock into Lieutenant-Colonel William Travis’ legs.  He fell over against the cannons as the rock tore into him.  It felt as though he had been stuck with hot needles, burning him as they pierced the flesh.

“Fire,” he yelled, stammering to his feet.

The cannonballs rocketed into the seemingly endless number of Mexican soldiers charging the Alamo.  They were surrounded, and Colonel Travis didn’t know how much longer they would last.  Could this be the end of the Republic of Texas?  He wasn’t sure, and all that was left was Sam Houston and his army.

The Mexicans began to charge, climbing the Alamo walls.  It was more than they would withstand.  He would have to fight hand to hand.

“Fire,” he ordered.  The cannon blasted away again.  More Mexicans penetrated the Alamo walls.  They were coming.  Colonel Travis unsheathed his sword.  “For Texas, and for America,” he yelled.

He turned as a sword pierced his heart.  Colonel Travis grasped his chest.  He staggered, turned and fell on the hot cannons, dead.

The siege at the Alamo lasted approximately fourteen days, of which only thirty-two men arrived in support of the already weary one hundred fifty-four men.  During those fourteen days, the mission held under Mexican bombardment, until the morning of March 6, 1836 when Santa Anna charged with 1,800 Mexican soldiers.  In the end, 600 Mexicans and 187 Americans lay dead in the mission at the Alamo.

This was a Texas Revolution, not unlike the American Revolution that had taken place merely sixty years earlier.  Both Mexicans and Americans had settled in Texas.  It all changed with the rise of President Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna, who abolished the 1824 Mexican Constitution—a constitution that gave Mexico a Republican form of government.

Hostilities towards the Mexican government increased during Santa Anna’s reign of power.  This culminated in the first ever military conflict for Texas independence at the Alamo.  Santa Anna left Mexico December 10, 1835, marching for San Antonio de Bexar. 

Bombardments began on February 23, 1836.  Santa Anna asked for an immediate surrender without conditions, on which a single cannon shot was fired in response.

On the second say of bombardment, February 24, 1836, Lieutenant-Colonel Travis wrote a letter addressed to the people of Texas and all Americans in the world.  It read:

            Fellow citizens & compatriots –

I am beseiged, by a thousand or more of the Mexicans under Santa Anna — I have sustained a continual Bombardment & cannonade for 24 hours & have not lost a man — The enemy has demanded a surrender at discretion, otherwise, the garrison are to be put to the sword, if the fort is taken — I have answered the demand with a cannon shot, & our flag still waves proudly from the walls — I shall never surrender or retreat. Then, I call on you in the name of Liberty, of patriotism, & every thing dear to the American character, to come to our aid, with all dispatch — The enemy is receiving reinforcements daily & will no doubt increase to three or four thousand in four or five days. If this call is neglected, I am determined to sustain myself as long as possible & die like a soldier who never forgets what is due to his own honor & that of his country —

VICTORY OR DEATH

William Barret Travis
Lt. Col. Comdt.

P.S. The Lord is on our side — When the enemy appeared in sight we had not three bushels of corn — We have since found in deserted houses 80 or 90 bushels & got into the walls 20 or 30 head of Beeves —

Travis

The words of Colonel William Travis ring true to this day.  For it was not just a Texas cause but an American cause.  Many Americans, looking to settle on their own lands, flocked to Texas for a new life.  In fact, the army at the Alamo was largely made up of farmers and settlers to San Antonio de Bexar.

Though Texas settlers, the Texan Army was as American as any army.  The men that sacrificed their lives so nobly came from all across the fruited planes.  Some of the states included Virginia, Vermont, North Carolina, South Carolina, Kentucky, Arkansas, Missouri, Tennessee, Pennsylvania, Alabama, New York, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Louisiana, Georgia, Ohio, Illinois, Rhode Island, Mississippi, and Maryland.

These men felt a call to liberty, an effort given for the sake of a better future.  They did not call on their government to aid them in the quest for nirvana.  Instead, they took up arms to free themselves from tyranny’s grasp—just as some fledgling colonists did sixty years earlier.

Now, we stand at the crossroads in America’s history again.  We must take a look at the election for President of the United States, and ask whether Americans intend on government to solving their problems, or would they rather depend on themselves for a better life.

Senator Barack Obama, the Democratic nominee for President of the United States, would rather government solve all of America’s problems.  He operates from the old tried and true methods of socialism, and he intends to spread wealth to grow government and control Americans’ lives.

Now it is our time to take up arms, time to arm ourselves with a ballot, time to say no to socialism.  It is time to propagate liberty in America once again.

So, in the words of Lieutenant-Colonel William B. Travis, “I call on you in the name of Liberty, of patriotism, & every thing dear to the American character, to come to our aid, with all dispatch.”

I challenge you to never retreat or surrender while watching the nightly news.  Hold liberty precious while saying no to Senator Barack Obama and socialism.

For the people of Texas and all Americans, remember the 187 men that stood and perished on those rock walls for liberty.

When voting on November 4, 2008, I challenge you to “Remember the Alamo!”

Greeley, CO—In one of the most dramatic turn of events, Senator Joseph Biden, D-DE, has quit the Obama Campaign, and joined Senator John McCain, R-AZ.  The sudden announcement came during a rally in Greeley, Colorado, at UNC (University of Northern Colorado.)

Amidst his speech—at the Butler Pavilion—on jobs, mortgages and children’s futures, Biden dropped the bomb on the unsuspecting crowd.  The news came in the middle of using the common themes of the Obama campaign: restoring the middle class and gaining respect in the world.

He cited his reasons for leaving as “wanting to be with a winner,” coming shortly after his brain scan, as well as both camps receiving a security briefing on the state of affairs in the world.

“If there’s going to be an international crisis within six months of the election,” claimed Biden.  “I’d rather be on the side that would know how to deal with it.  I may be stupid, but I’m not that stupid.”

In his speech, he said, “For too many Americans, the American dream is becoming a distant dream. That’s why, on this 21st day of October, I am resigning as the Vice Presidential nominee and joining forces with Senator John McCain, a real winner, someone that can protect us in the twenty-first century. I want to see my grandchildren grow up.”

When asked by a Greeley reporter about why he had a change of heart, Biden stated that “Obama needed far too much on the job training.”

“This guy is gonna get us all killed,” laughed Biden.  “I may appear like I’m an idiot on television, but in reality, I’m smart enough to know when to run for the hills.  And it’s time to start running.”

Hardest hit by the news was television reporter, Andrea Mitchell of NBC News.  “This is unbelievable,” fired Mitchell.  “He said Obama had a steel spine!  It’ll be a cold day in hell before we run this speech in its entirety!”

In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, Senator McCain addressed this very issue to one of the many rabid, Republican crowds.  “As a ‘maverick,’ I am asking Senator Joseph Biden to join our campaign.  According to General Colin Powell, the party is far too narrow, and I feel that Senator Biden is just the kind of person to make this tent even bigger.  Maybe now I’ll get his endorsement.”

With the election only days away, the sudden exit of Senator Joseph Biden from the Obama camp makes many wonder if he really is capable of handling America’s national security.  Senator Biden no longer thinks he can.

After two years of an overbearing and meddling U.S. Congress, Americans are called upon to elect the next President of the United States.  The very comprehension of this subject speaks of such an importance that its consequences lead to the direction and existence of the greatest and most interesting country in the world…America.

The very security, economic vitality and liberty of all men and women of this country are at stake.  The election of the President has been reserved to the people of this country, giving Americans a chance to answer the question of our very sovereignty on the world stage.

If there is but one truth, it is at this election that lay before us.  It will decide for our posterity the very basic of freedoms upon which they will exist, govern and maintain from generation to generation.  For a wrong choice at this juncture will be considered the gravest misfortune of mankind, leading us down a path upon which will shake the foundations of every great grandchild in this nation.

We must therefore, in our patriotic duty, discerningly determine who will lead this country down the correct path in the twenty-first century.  There our two choices that lay in our midst:  One is a choice that will give us a future of more security and liberty, and the other is a choice that will lead to more government control of every commercial enterprise, man, woman and child in this nation.

If we make the right choice, one of happiness and prosperity, it must be determined because of a judicious review of what is in America’s best interest and its citizens for years to come.  The wrong choice will be governed by emotions and passions with little favor toward this country’s institutions, traditions and its people.

The most formidable obstacle the great citizens of this country face is the Democratic Party and its incestuous relationship with the mainstream media—an organization which has the mindset as the Fourth Branch of the U.S. Government.  This obstacle offers us a group of perverted individuals whose single goal is to acquire power to strip liberty from every sovereign state in the Union.

However, it is not my intention to dwell upon the degenerate nature of the Democratic Party and its cohorts in the mainstream media.  Rather, I would simply address the American people—those that would take the opportunity to exercise the right to choose the next President of the United States.

We must be obliged to admit that the Democrat Party, and those that occupy the media elite, have been led astray with misguided objectives arising from preconceived fears of the role of a Republic and American rugged individuality.  For their designs—noble to only themselves—have given birth to the idea that government is the solution to America’s woes.  So powerful and biased are those that serve this cause, it lends itself to fraud, misrepresentation, and a gross negligence in performing their duties to the American electorate.

It is with an efficacious behavior that you approach your Constitutional right in choosing our next president, because it is perilous to elect a president from only the notion of a historical perspective.  Therefore, it is most important to make that selection based upon your likelihood of prosperity, and the future prosperity of every American.

America is a vast country and cannot be driven by a single issue or goal.  It must be driven by goals that seek to expand the opportunities of all individuals in this great Republic—an expansive vision that doesn’t look to one year but to one hundred years.

As the days of the election approach, a torrent of angry, malignant and denigrating passions will be let loose.  We must then conclude that the opposition party will be as fervent and steadfast as to convince as many people as possible that their direction is the correct one, filling them with a bitterness that is hostile to the principles of liberty.

We should, however, remain resolute in our patriotic virtue.  To falter means to give way to the enlightened zeal that government can solve all of America’s dilemmas, and that it can fill the compulsions of every citizen in the country.

It has long been forgotten that limited government is essential to the security of liberty and the effectualness of this great Republic.  History has taught us that the overwhelming desire to return power to the people is as dangerous as a despot to any country, and that the Democratic Party—in their attempt to confer rights to the citizens—have created tyranny for the people instead.

It may be altogether improper to argue for conservatism.  And yet, time and again, it has shown that those principles work to insure economic supremacy, a longstanding robustness, and a competent government that serves for the people of the United States of America.

You have seen the debilitating effects of good intentions that are focused at one group or another, as damaging as the amputation of both legs.  This inhibits their ability to be productive as well as those around them.  Yet this is one of the traditions of the modern Democratic Party.

The Democratic Party is made up of many tentacles, each with its own special group, and none of which have any interest in the welfare of the citizens of this Republic.  They are governed by a passion of self-interest, not of an immersion in the American culture, traditions and history.  They, instead, prefer the contrary to all that we believe, and they should not be allowed to occupy the White House.

It is in this observation that we take it upon ourselves to vote for the benefit of every citizens.  We must vote for a more limited federal government, to help reduce fiscal irresponsibility, to help promote the welfare of every citizen, and to help provide for the security of this nation.

Despite what you hear in the mainstream media, we must rally with every exigency to secure blessings of liberty once again to ourselves and our posterity.

For liberty’s sake, we must never elect Senator Barack Obama, the future of America depends on it.